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Rude Cards & Offensive Birthday Cards

Welcome to our gloriously rude greeting card collection – where every card has more personality than your ex and twice the attitude. We're talking rude birthday cards that don't mess about, rude leaving cards that actually say what everyone's thinking, and celebration cards that'll make your little old granny clutch at her pearls.

Our rude birthday cards are perfect for that mate who appreciates a proper piss-take on their special day – because "Happy Birthday, you absolute bellend" hits way different than the usual, generic, flower bollocks. And our rude leaving cards? They're for when "We'll miss you" just doesn't quite capture the "Thank fuck you're taking your smelly lunches elsewhere" vibe you're after.

Find the perfect card

"I know exactly who you are, and I think you're fucking fantastic."

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So, WTF is Wottahoot?

Look, we all know that feeling. Your best friend's birthday is coming up, and you want a card that says "I love you, you magnificent bellend" rather than "Wishing you sunshine and flowers."

Or you need a leaving card for that colleague who's finally escaping – and "We'll miss your contributions to the team" just doesn't capture the "Thank fuck you're taking your smelly lunches elsewhere" vibe you're going for.

That's our sweet spot. Cards that make people snort-laugh in public. Cards that might get you disinherited if Granny has found her reading glasses that day.

Cards that actually sound like YOU.