SOZ, WE CAN'T CURRENTLY ADD MESSAGES TO THE INSIDE OF ANY CARDS. SO YOU'LL HAVE TO FUCKING WRITE IT INSIDE YOURSELF. DON'T PANIC THOUGH, WE WILL BE ADDING YOUR FILTHY INSIDE MESSAGES AGAIN FROM 1ST AUGUST 2026

Rude Age Birthday Cards

Milestone birthdays deserve more than a card from the supermarket — they deserve the truth. Whether it's the big 30th, the dreaded 40th, the half-century 50th, or somewhere well beyond that, our rude milestone birthday cards say what everyone's actually thinking. Each age brings its own indignities, and we've got a card for every single one of them. Unisex and unapologetic — our rude age cards work for him, for her, and for anyone else who's old enough to take a joke. All cards are A5, 300gsm gloss, blank inside, with a white envelope included.