Ask a stupid
question.
Something gone wrong, or you just can't work out how an envelope works? Relax, you're not special. Some other radgie's already asked the same shit while panic-buying a rude birthday card in the middle of the night. It's all below.
Ordering
How do I amend or cancel an order?
We ship fast so don't hang about. Get in touch and we'll try, but no promises once it's out the door.
I've put the wrong address
Jesus Christ. Right, email hello@wottahoot.co.uk with your full name, order number and the correct address, quick as you can, before it ends up at some random stranger's house.
How do I use a promotional code?
Get you, you cheeky cunt, with a discount code. Chuck it in at the checkout, off you go.
My order arrived damaged
Ah for fuck's sake, sorry mate. We pack everything properly but posties can be savages. Get in touch and we'll send you a replacement.
Can I send something back?
Aye, unopened cards can come back within 30 days. Personalised ones can't, unless we've cocked it up. Full rundown on our returns page.
Delivery
What delivery options are available?
First Class as standard, Signed For if you're looking for attention, or Next Day Guaranteed by 1pm if you've left it really fucking late again. Order by 3pm Monday to Friday and it's out the door the same day. Full details on our delivery page.
How long does delivery take?
Depends what you picked. Check the delivery page, we're not repeating ourselves.
How do I track my order?
First Class isn't trackable, that's just how it works. Paid for Signed For or Next Day? Tracking's in your dispatch email. Lost it already? Course you have. Get in touch, we'll find it.
My order hasn't arrived
Royal Mail's having a day, probably. Give it 7 working days, then get in touch and we'll have a word.
Will all my order items be dispatched together?
Aye, it's all in stock so it's all going out together. We're not pissing about sending your order in instalments.
Our rude cards
What size are the cards and what are they made from?
Size doesn't always matter, but ours are A5, 300gsm gloss. Proper thick. Not the cheap shite that bends in your bag.
Can I send a card directly to the recipient?
Yeah course, you don't have to be the postman as well. Stick your message in, put their address at checkout, we'll handle the rest.
Do all rude cards come with an envelope?
Are you taking the piss? Obviously.
Website and payment
I'm having trouble logging in
Try resetting your password. Still haven't worked out how to use the internet yet? Get in touch and we'll sort your shit out.
What payment options can I use?
Card, PayPal, Apple Pay, Google Pay, Klarna, ClearPay, Shop Pay, whatever gets the job done. No cash, no IOUs, and for the love of god, no more dickpics.