Rude Birthday Card - How The Fuck Are You Still Alive? Happy Birthday
To send it straight to them, pop their address in as the delivery address at checkout.
Card details
| Size | A5 (148 × 210mm), posts with a standard 1st or 2nd class stamp |
| Card | Thick 300gsm gloss |
| Inside | Blank, or we'll print your message for free |
| Envelope | White envelope included |
| Printed in | The North East, England |
Description
Rude Birthday Card - How The Fuck Are You Still Alive? Happy Birthday
Every year they're still standing is frankly a mystery. Whether it's their lifestyle choices, their general behaviour, or just the sheer audacity of carrying on regardless — their continued existence deserves to be properly acknowledged. And questioned. Loudly.
- Premium Quality - Printed on luxurious 300gsm gloss card for a high-end feel
- Perfect Size - A5 format (fits a normal Royal Mail stamp)
- Blank Inside - Plenty of room to add your own personal message
- Complete Package - Includes crisp white envelope
- Bold Statement Design - Eye-catching colours and unapologetically funny message
This rude birthday card is ideal for:
- The mate who really shouldn't still be going this strong
- Milestone birthdays where surviving to this point is the joke
- Anyone sending a rude birthday card to a man or woman who's earned it
- The friend, sibling or family member whose lifestyle is genuinely baffling
The birthday card that doubles as a genuine expression of disbelief.
| Card Size | A5 (148mm x 210mm) |
| Card Material | 300gsm Gloss Cardstock |
| Inside | Blank inside for a filthy personal message |
| Envelope | White envelope included |
| Occasion | Birthday for Him for Her |
| Style | Funny, Rude, Cheeky Humour |
| Message |
How the fuck are you still alive? Happy Birthday. |
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UK Delivery
Order by 3pm Monday to Friday and we'll dispatch it the same day.
Free delivery on orders over £20. Tracked delivery upgrades are available at checkout.
FAQs
What size are the cards and what are they made from?
It's not always the size that counts, but all of our cards are A5 and printed on high-quality 300gsm gloss card.
Can this be sent directly to the recipient?
Yes! Add your message inside, update the delivery address at checkout and we'll send it straight to them.
LOADS OF FUCKING MATES?
Any 4 for £10
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5.0★★★★★From 4 reviews on this card
WHAT ARE YOU
FILTHY LOT
SAYING
Let customers speak for us
Boring cards are for
boring bastards.
5 star filth
Hundreds of filthy bastards can't be wrong. Real reviews from real-life daredevils who bought our cards and lived to tell the tale.
Send direct
Add your filthy message inside and we'll send it straight to their door. No hiding it in a drawer and certainly no chance to bottle it.
No fucking around
Order by 3pm Monday to Friday and it's out the door that afternoon. Forgot their birthday again? We've got your back, you useless bastard.
