Order by 3pm Mon–Fri for same-day dispatchAny 4 rude cards for £10We can print your message inside & post it directRated 4.9 from 571 reviewsOrder by 3pm Mon–Fri for same-day dispatchAny 4 rude cards for £10We can print your message inside & post it directRated 4.9 from 571 reviews
New arrival

Rude Birthday Card - "You're Probably Going To Die Pretty Soon"

Filth-o-Meter Bit Cheeky
Same-day dispatchOrder by 3pm Mon–Fri
Free post over £208 cards for £20 and delivery is free
4.9 starsFrom 571 reviews
✓Thick A5 card✓White envelope✓Delivery upgrades available

Nobody's getting out of this alive, mate — might as well have a laugh about it while you're still here. This card tells them straight: another year closer to the big sleep, but happy birthday anyway.

Card details
SizeA5 (148 × 210mm), posts with a standard 1st or 2nd class stamp
CardThick 300gsm gloss
InsideBlank, or we'll print your message for free
EnvelopeWhite envelope included
Printed inThe North East, England
Description

Rude Birthday Card - "You're Probably Going To Die Pretty Soon"

Nobody's getting out of this alive, mate — might as well have a laugh about it while you're still here. This card tells them straight: another year closer to the big sleep, but happy birthday anyway.

  • Premium Quality - Printed on luxurious 300gsm gloss card for a high-end feel
  • Perfect Size - A5 format (fits a normal Royal Mail stamp)
  • Blank Inside - Plenty of room to add your own personal message
  • Complete Package - Includes crisp white envelope
  • Bold Statement Design - Eye-catching colours and unapologetically funny message

This rude birthday card is ideal for:

  • Mates who take the piss out of each other
  • Work colleagues who need reminding time's ticking
  • Anyone who'd rather laugh at getting older than cry about it

Grab it, sign it, watch their face. That's the whole plan.

Card Size A5 (148mm x 210mm)
Card Material 300gsm Gloss Cardstock
Inside Blank inside for a filthy personal message
Envelope White envelope included
Occasion Birthday for Him for Her
Style Funny, Rude, Cheeky Humour
Message You're probably going to die pretty soon. Happy Birthday.


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UK Delivery

Order by 3pm Monday to Friday and we'll dispatch it the same day.

Free delivery on orders over £20. Tracked delivery upgrades are available at checkout.

Full delivery info

FAQs

What size are the cards and what are they made from?

It's not always the size that counts, but all of our cards are A5 and printed on high-quality 300gsm gloss card.

Can this be sent directly to the recipient?

Yes! Add your message inside, update the delivery address at checkout and we'll send it straight to them.

Something else? Read all our FAQs

4.9★★★★★From 571 reviews across the shop

WHAT ARE YOU FILTHY LOT
SAYING

Boring cards are for
boring bastards.

5 star filth

Hundreds of filthy bastards can't be wrong. Real reviews from real-life daredevils who bought our cards and lived to tell the tale.

Send direct

Add your filthy message inside and we'll send it straight to their door. No hiding it in a drawer and certainly no chance to bottle it.

No fucking around

Order by 3pm Monday to Friday and it's out the door that afternoon. Forgot their birthday again? We've got your back, you useless bastard.

MADE BY RADGIES
IN THE NORTH EAST