DON'T PISS ABOUT - FATHER'S DAY IS ON THE WAY Sunday 21st June 2026 DON'T PISS ABOUT - FATHER'S DAY IS ON THE WAY Sunday 21st June 2026 DON'T PISS ABOUT - FATHER'S DAY IS ON THE WAY Sunday 21st June 2026 DON'T PISS ABOUT - FATHER'S DAY IS ON THE WAY Sunday 21st June 2026

Rude Birthday Card - How The Fuck Are You Still Alive? Happy Birthday

£399

Rude Birthday Card - How The Fuck Are You Still Alive? Happy Birthday

Every year they're still standing is frankly a mystery. Whether it's their lifestyle choices, their general behaviour, or just the sheer audacity of carrying on regardless — their continued existence deserves to be properly acknowledged. And questioned. Loudly.

  • Premium Quality - Printed on luxurious 300gsm gloss card for a high-end feel
  • Perfect Size - A5 format (fits a normal Royal Mail stamp)
  • Blank Inside - Plenty of room to add your own personal message
  • Complete Package - Includes crisp white envelope
  • Bold Statement Design - Eye-catching colours and unapologetically funny message

This rude birthday card is ideal for:

  • The mate who really shouldn't still be going this strong
  • Milestone birthdays where surviving to this point is the joke
  • Anyone sending a rude birthday card to a man or woman who's earned it
  • The friend, sibling or family member whose lifestyle is genuinely baffling

The birthday card that doubles as a genuine expression of disbelief.

Card Size A5 (148mm x 210mm)
Card Material 300gsm Gloss Cardstock
Inside Blank inside for a filthy personal message
Envelope White envelope included
Occasion Birthday for Him for Her
Style Funny, Rude, Cheeky Humour
Message How the fuck are you still alive? Happy Birthday.

 

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UK Standard Delivery

All cards ordered before 9pm are dispatched the following working day. We currently do not offer next day delivery. Find out more information about our Rude Card delivery here.

FAQs

What size are the cards and what are they made from?
It's not always the size that counts, but all of our cards are A5 and are printed on high-quality 300gsm Gloss card.

Can this be sent directly to the recipient?
Yes! You can now add a personal message to the inside of your card. Update the delivery address at checkout too, and we will send your order direct!

Something else?
If you need help while ordering or you've got a question you need to ask, we've got a list of frequently asked questions here.